Ladies and Dangerous Urge To Marry Men Living Abroad

By Admin – 21st March, 2019

Now that elections are almost over, I think it’s time we resume our social education discussions. I have intention to make this discussion for long, but the feeling that some ladies involved may feel embarrassed prevented me from presenting the discussion. Also, the feeling that most of the issues they confined in me are trust (amanah) is stopping me. However I also feel it is ‘amanah’ to educate the larger population on the issue.

First of all, the failure of many parents to effectively train their daughters and give them good manners is one of the reasons many girls fail to secure true suitors that will marry them. As such, they resort to advertising themselves on social media and chatting people anyhow, telling them how good the are even if they are not. Unfortunately, as a result of trying to find husbands on media, they find men that further turn them sluts by making appointments with them and subsequently finding ways to have sex with them. Many girls have confessed to having their first sex with men they meet on Facebook and eventually and subsequently they become harlots, spreading legs anyhow to every man/guy they meet on media.

Most a times, ladies fall for good profiles they see on Facebook even if those information on the profile are false. Most of these ladies have love for materialism more than they have fear for God. They first check people’s profiles, and once they find it attractive, they start chatting. And, most of the people that are out to spoil girls through social media have false information on their profile. They know what will attract their preys, and thus they put it so they can easily make their ways.

Ladies want to see or befriend people staying abroad in the name of either studies or hustle. They refuse to listen and agree with the locals of their match that have good intention of marrying them, but always looking for who is staying abroad. Some of us that are outside Nigeria can testify to this, as we are witnessing this kind of rampant request from ladies. Now, let me relate my discussion with few instances.

Some months ago, a lady contacted me here and we greeted. Not long after that, she began telling me how good she is and she trust me. I thanked her for having confidence in me. The next day, she started telling me she want me to find a husband among my friends that are staying abroad. I asked why must it be somebody staying abroad? She replied she want someone that will marry her and take her abroad so she can study also in foreign university. I asked if she has money to sponsor herself, she relied ‘No’, that they are poor. I wondered and still told her why then do you think men are fools that someone will come to marry you and bring you here or any country to study? If I get you right, all you are after is to come and study but not marriage so that after studies you can dump him? She said no. She insisted and sent her pictures so I can help her find a Nigerian staying abroad.

I almost got over her until yesterday when she talked to me again about it. Asking if I am able to find one for her. She was even describing the kind and nature of the one she want – that she want fair, tall, giant and handsome guy. And you know what, the girl is very very ugly, black and short. I told her I have sent her pictures across and everyone said she is not good for their liking. I told her openly if husbands are easy to find, she should at least have found one around her. This is a girl from a village, staying in village, schooling in village and look like typical village girl but making such demands. I concluded that she must be having ‘jinns’ on her after long conversion with her for long time.

A friend called me some months ago from Nigeria that I should help him investigate a guy working in Malaysia. The guys is dating his sister and they met on Facebook. They did all they could to separate them and let her know the true colour of life but she insists on marrying him because he told her he live and work in Malaysia. I did my part and reported back to him. Her parents and brothers know what life and marriage are, but she knows nothing and thus want to put herself and family in a big trouble.

Again, another one contacted me and asked me to find a foreigner for her to marry. I asked her why must it be foreigner? She replied all Kano guys are not good for her liking. And you know what? This is a girl that look typical of an indigenous Kano girls; short, black and ugly. I only took time to preach and inject some sense into her. I told her what marriage is and how it should be, that is not about fashion, that marrying a foreigner will not give you any joy. In fact, the best is marrying from your own tribe and locality. There are also men in every country, and you know what? Nigerian men are the most responsible husbands I have ever seen. They fully take care of their families even if their wives are working. Some men we see here are babysitters. They take care of the children while the wives work. And thus, they have no say in ruling the families.

Former member Kano State House of Assembly Hon. Bako Mamuda Sitti once advised me not to marry outside my tribe, religion and region, that their friend married a certain tribe and he later died. His relatives couldn’t even see his children. The wife has moved everything to her place and disgraced his parents and relatives. So marriage is not about love and understanding only, other factors need to be considered. A friend was recently telling me about a Professor who married an American wife but stayed and worked somewhere, when he retired and was going back to Nigeria, the wife refused to follow him and moved to America with all his children. He is now living alone in Nigeria, no wife and no children.

To all these ladies, you need to restore your senses. Not all of us living aboard are happy and rich. Most of us are ordinary labourers and others doing jobs they can’t do in Nigeria. Only few of us studying are living a purposeful life, but none of us is rich enough to marry you and enroll you to study in foreign universities. Nevertheless, we are also wise and capitalist as you think you are. If your father cannot afford it, why do you think we can? We are not fools.

I have always said this and I repeat, most parents have failed. It is entirely your responsibility to guard and protect your daughters. You should have knowledge of their social, online and offline activities. And above all, you should be the one to introduce them to suitors, but not to give them open chance to verify, taste and examine many suitors before falling for one. You have allowed most of your daughters to become prostitutes in the name of either schooling or socialising. Any girl that has lived and loved many guys before marriage, or make herself available to every hello and hi cannot make a good wife. Avoid her for your own peace.

Thank you. Bye. Copied